It’s not very often that I share personal stuff over here. But I thought I’d drop in and say hi...
It’s been truly amazing to cultivate and grow my own midwifery practice. Midwifery training was rough in so many ways. There were definitely moments, days, weeks, where I just knew that I was not cut out to be a midwife. My emotional and physical health suffered greatly, and my family missed me. Somehow I just kept moving forward, learning, growing, and pouring into this thing that I couldn’t quit no matter how hard it was. It was like my baby midwife self was in labor inside the womb and every contraction was squeezing me and stressing me and preparing me for what was ahead. And then BIRTH. I was born a baby midwife and I have to admit I came out pretty stunned. I remember telling people that I knew I was happy, but I didn’t really ‘feel’ happy, just relieved... And then there was this period of time where I felt like I was suddenly brand new at everything again. “I know that I know how to do this, but why am I doubting myself?” I was learning to sit up, roll over, talk, walk. And it was still hard, but it was much more manageable.
And now I have a practice that is thriving, and I feel really, really peaceful doing what I do, which I am so grateful for. There are times that I still feel like a baby (because I am), but I hear from others that maybe we’re always gonna be learning, no matter how old we get or how long we’ve been in practice. That’s fair. But today I can say, unequivocally, that I am definitely supposed to be a midwife and I love caring for all of you so damn much. Thank you for the honor of taking care of you and your families, and for trusting me with your most sacred and intimate moments. What a gift. You are raising me into the midwife that I am continually becoming.
And if you’re a student midwife out there who’s struggling. Hang in there. It’s gets better. The world needs more midwives and it’ll be worth it.